Monday, November 10, 2008

Of Bullfrogs and Butterflies

Each week, DD and I do a “Mommy & Me” ballet class at the Decatur School of Ballet. Our instructor, Miss Dee, is wonderful with the little ones, very patient, very flexible, full of energy, and quite attuned to what the girls are up for on any given day. Given my little one, that patience and flexibility come in handy. DD is, to be sure, her own little person.

In class, we do an exercise I’m sure most folks know called “butterfly.” (Just sit on the floor with the bottoms of your feet held together close to your crotch and stretch your bent legs down to the floor. Flap gently if you wish!) About the second or third week, Miss Dee asked each little girl what color butterfly she was. The responses came in turn: “orange” and “pink” and “blue” and “yellow.” All fluttery, pretty butterfly colors.

Then came DD’s turn.

“And what color butterfly are you?” queried Miss Dee to DD.

DD wrinkled her brow in a mannerism that she most definitely got from me, brows scrunching down between her eyes. She looked at Miss Dee for a second, very seriously.

“I’m NOT a butterfly,” she announced in a manner that brooked no disagreement. “I’M a BULLFROG.”

And, that is my daughter in a nutshell.

I enjoyed telling that story for several weeks. It wasn’t quite the end of the story, though. Miss Dee, being the wonderfully patient person that she is, tried to accommodate “Bullfrog.”

“What color butterfly would you pretend to be if you WERE pretending to be a butterfly” she asked the next week.

Again, Bullfrog replied, “I’m NOT a butterfly. I’m a BULLFROG.”

The following week, Miss Dee tried again with the hypothetical butterfly question, garnering the same response. Finally, a couple of weeks after the initial “Bullfrog pronouncement,” she acquiesced.

“What color bullfrog are you this week?” she asked kindly.

“Green!” Bullfrog replied enthusiastically. Miss Dee thought she had it made. For two weeks, she asked Bullfrog her color and got an animated “green” response. But Bullfrog had ideas of her own.

After several weeks of having a lovely green Bullfrog sitting in butterfly pose, about a week ago, Miss Dee asked Bullfrog what color frog she was that day.

Bullfrog scrunched her brow down in that recalcitrant manner and replied, “I’m NOT a bullfrog. I’m a CROCODILE.”

Friday, November 7, 2008

Reading the Facts

So, I’ve been reading a lot of nonfiction recently. Which is odd. I’m a voracious reader … of fiction. Historical, modern, mystery, sci-fi, fantasy, whatever. I like fiction. I like the escapism factor. But here lately it’s been the nonfiction that has drawn me.

Maybe I just read one too many mediocre Oprah’s-book-of-the-month-style novels here recently... I have gotten a number as “hand-me-downs” from family and friends…

(For example, Joshilyn Jackson’s Between, Georgia. I was rolling along just fine. She’s an engaging writer. But then, wham, pesky facts had to interfere. I’m here to tell you, ladies and gentlemen, that one attorney cannot represent both spouses in divorce litigation. Not even if they say they like each other and just want to be done with it all and have split the car, the house, and the kid just like they want. Can anyone say “disbarment?” This one little factual error ruined what was otherwise a fun read for me. I mean, what else was the author blowing out of her ass? Does she not have a fact-checker? Does she not KNOW a lawyer? Not one? Couldn’t she have opened the Yellow Pages or called one of those divorce attorneys on the billboards (“UNCONTESTED DIVORCES from $500!! CALL NOW! 1-800-SPLIT-UP”) and say “Hey, I’m writing this book; can one attorney represent both sides of a divorcing couple? No? Great! Thanks! I’ll give you some props on my acknowledgements page”??? Whew. I think I’ve been holding that rant in for a while…)

But I digress. Nonfiction.

Maybe it’s just that I’ve been reading some really good nonfiction. It all started with Hope’s Edge by Frances Moore Lappe (author of Diet for a Small Planet) and her daughter Anna Lappe. Both delightful and disturbing. I couldn’t put it down, and it’s informed some recent changes in our eating habits, specifically in our food-purchasing habits. Her stories of how people around the world make organic farming work in the face of economic pressures to continue “conventional” farming, using pesticides and GMO seeds is inspiring. And her stories of the social and environmental costs of “conventional” agriculture and manufactured seeds and plants are eye-opening.

Then I was at playgroup talking with another mom about a book she was reading, Waste and Want by Susan Strasser. She raved about this history of trash, and I was intrigued. I told her about Hope’s Edge, and we agreed to swap.

While I waited for her to finish and loan me the book, I checked out Ms. Strasser’s Never Done: A History of American Housework from the library. Dense but fascinating! While there were a number of digressions, the focus of the book on how women’s work has changed from manual labor around the home – cooking, cleaning, laundering (whoo-boy, am I thankful for my HE stackable washer and dryer and my electric iron!!), providing clothing – to a focus on being a savvy consumer of products that are supposed to make all of those tasks easier. She also notes the social costs for women: while life is a LOT more pleasant physically now that we don’t have to haul our water and spend a whole day slapping laundry on a washboard, running it through a manual wringer, and hanging it on a clothesline, we women who stay at home at least part-time or more have also lost some opportunity to socialize with other women at the water pump or over the back fence while hanging sheets.

Once I finished that, it was on to The Lolita Effect by M. Gigi Durham, a book I saw reviewed in the Atlanta Journal Constitution. Boy, raising girls has unique challenges. (Yes, I know that raising boys does, too, but, for now, I have only a girl!) The book was a fascinating look at how girls view themselves, how myths about women inform our girls’ dress and attitudes, and how parents and other supporters of girls can help them take a critical look at media depictions of women and their own preconceptions about women.

Around that time, my friend finished her trashy read, and I got the scoop on trash in Waste and Want. With her same style, Strasser’s book on trash provides way more information than I knew existed about how Americans have viewed waste throughout the past few centuries. (Who knew that there’s a difference between “garbage” and “rubbish?”) She focuses on how “thrift” has transformed from learning to make do, reuse, or do without to learning to spend wisely! If you don’t want to rethink what you throw out or how you shop, don’t read this book.

Somewhere in there, I read a little book that had been sitting on my “to read” pile for many years called Medicine Women. A quickie read, it surveyed the history of women as providers of health care, in a broad sense. From healers to witches to midwives to nurses to modern doctors, the book looked at various roles women have played, and profiled a few outstanding examples.

But I wasn’t done with my nonfiction orgy! I just finished Mindless Eating by Brian Wansink, a fun look at how where we eat, what we eat, how it’s displayed, what container it’s in, and more affect how much we eat. The author’s easygoing prose and interesting stories about his case studies and tests made for a fast read, and I learned some really neat tips about using the “mindless margin” to my advantage and to help my family make good food choices.

Now, I’m on to Anthony Bourdain’s Kitchen Confidential. Loving it so far, but I think I’m going to have to make a not-so-brief foray back in to fiction. Somehow, I made it through my entire educational career without reading Moby Dick. The library had it checked-in, and I’ve really been wanting to read the copy of Ahab’s Wife that my husband gave me at least four years ago. I think I’ll get more out of the newer book if I’ve read the older and have the context to get the allusions. So, sense both are very dense, I’ll be off nonfiction for a while.

But I’ll be back… I have Jared Diamond’s Collapse and at least five other titles on my “to read” pile just waiting for me to be ready to devour some more facts, theories, and philosophies!