Some books are good; some books are really good; and some books are “Oh my god I just sat down and read 305 pages in one sitting” good. That’s John Green’s Paper Towns. Man, is it good. I got turned on to John Green through his and his brother’s Brotherhood 2.0 Project a few years ago when my husband discovered a very engaging video blog entry on the internet and we both began following them. All three of his novels (which are “young adult” but don’t necessarily follow any standard formula for that genre) are great. Really great. Read them. Take a day. Read all three in one sitting. I dare you not to find them engaging.
I have to admit, though, that every time I read a great book by a fresh author, I am unwillingly transported back to the memory of the only book I’ve ever read that was just beyond awful.
Don’t get me wrong. I’ve read a number of books I didn’t particularly care for. The Good Earth? Meh. Moby Dick? I don’t quite get the continued emphasis on this book as a classic; the outdated whale talk drove me bonkers. And I’ve read some books that were bad. The book by Dan Brown I read after The DaVinci Code? Hey – good for you, Dan Brown: you can write A book and then clone it, over and over and over and... And don’t lots of readers have a V.C. Andrews phase in their barely post-pubescent past?? But even when I’ve not particularly cared for the book or I’ve known that the book most definitely did NOT qualify as great literature, I’ve been able to point to something to justify why the book was published or is considered “literature.”
But this one book…
To avoid identifying the author, let’s just say that the book was written by the husband of an acquaintance. (But, yes, my friend in Colorado, you will know IMMEDIATELY the book I’m talking about.) We (the acquaintance and I) were in the same book club for a short period of time. She suggested that we all read her husband’s new book, that he come to our meeting after we read it and let us give him feedback. We, being a good-natured group, agreed.
Boy do I wish we hadn’t. It was a struggle to read that book. As much as I was compelled through the pages of John Green’s Paper Towns, I slogged through the pages of this awful book. I fought the constant urge to stop reading it and, finally, after much effort, managed to finish it. I felt OBLIGED to finish.
I sat down and tried really, really, REALLY hard to come up with one positive thing to say about the book. But I couldn’t. The characters were flat. The setting, which was purportedly known to me and the other readers in the book club, was less recognizable than a place I’d never been. The plot was contrived. There was this allegorical theme, this device, that jumped. Out. And. Beat. You. Over. The. Head. Every. Time. It. Appeared. Even the editing was terrible.
I felt horrible. I mean, I KNEW this guy’s wife. I WANTED to like his book. I’d read some of his professional journalistic-style writing – it was (and still is) quite good. I even looked FORWARD to getting these folks’ annual holiday letter because he made it really, really fun! But I couldn’t go to book club and face this author. I just couldn’t. So I didn’t.
But I still think about that book.
If you have a “worst book” story, I’d love to hear it!
100. Through the Looking Glass by Lewis Carroll
99. The Cat Who Covered the World by Christopher S. Wren
98. The Turn of the Screw by Henry James
97. Emily the Strange by Anonymous
96. Anathem by Neal Stephenson
95. The Higher Power of Lucky by Susan Patron, illustrated by Matt Phelan
94. A Thief in the House of Memory by Tim Wynne-Jones
93. Last Child in the Woods by Richard Louv
92. An Abundance of Katherines by John Green
91. Beauty by Robin McKinley
90. The Last Unicorn by Peter S. Beagle
89. The Unicorn Sonata by Peter S. Beagle
88. Revenge by Stephen Fry
87. Summerland by Michael Chabon
86. Becoming Myself: Reflections on Growing up Female by Willa Shalit
85. The Stars My Destination by Alfred Bester
84. The Crimes of Charlotte Bronte by James Tully
83. Alphabet Juice by Roy Blount Jr.
82. The Book Thief by Markus Zusak
81. A Death in White Bear Lake: The True Chronicle of an All-American Town by Barry Siegel
80. The Girls Who Went Away: The Hidden History of Women Who Surrendered Children for Adoption in the Decades Before Roe v. Wade by Ann Fessler
79. Captain Alatriste by Arturo Perez Reverte
78. Purity of Blood by Arturo Perez Reverte
77. The Sun Over Breda by Arturo Perez Reverte
76. The King’s Gold by Arturo Perez Reverte
75. Mosaic by Amy Grant
74. Blink by Malcolm Gladwell
73. Aquarium Care of Bettas by David E. Boruchowitz
72. Eat Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert
71. The Miserable Mill (Book 4 in a Series of Unfortunate Events) by Lemony Snicket
70. A Drowned Maiden’s Hair by Laura Amy Schlitz
69. Pilgrims by Elizabeth Gilbert
68. Buffy the Vampire Slayer Season 8: Volume 2: No Future for You
67. Buffy the Vampire Slayer Season 8: Volume 3: Wolves at the Gate
66. McSweeney’s Enchanted Chamber of Astonishing Stories edited by Michael Chabon
65. Spike: After the Fall by Joss Whedon
64. Hateship, Friendship, Courtship, Loveship, Marriage by Alice Munro
63. Smoke and Mirrors by Neil Gaiman
62. Moral Disorder and other stories by Margaret Atwood
61. Stern Men by Elizabeth Gilbert
60. The Hour I First Believed by Wally Lamb
59. Hood by Stephen Lawhead
58. Scarlet by Stephen Lawhead
57. The Ruby in the Smoke by Philip Pullman
56. Tithe: A Modern Faerie Tale by Holly Black
55. Hercule Poirot’s Chistmas by Agatha Christie
54. The Austere Academy (Book 5 in a Series of Unfortunate Events) by Lemony Snicket
53. The Ersatz Elevator (Book 6 in a Series of Unfortunate Events) by Lemony Snicket
52. The Vile Village (Book 7 in a Series of Unfortunate Events) by Lemony Snicket
51. Shadow in the North by Philip Pullman
50. The Tiger in the Well by Philip Pullman
49. Peril at End House by Agatha Christie
48. Ironside by Holly Black
47. Mirror Mirror by Gregory Maguire
46. Getting the Girl by Markus Zusak
45. Looking for Alaska by John Green
44. The Last Child by John Hart
43. Brave Story by Miyuki Miyabe
42. The Tipping Point by Malcom Gladwell
41. It’s Not About the Bike by Lance Armstrong
40. The Hostile Hospital (Book 8 in a Series of Unfortunate Events) by Lemony Snicket
39. The Carnivorous Carnival (Book 9 in a Series of Unfortunate Events) by Lemony Snicket
38. The Slippery Slope (Book 10 in a Series of Unfortunate Events) by Lemony Snicket
37. The Painter of Battles by Arturo Perez-Reverte
36. The Tin Princess by Philip Pullman
35. The Grim Grotto (Book 11 in a Series of Unfortunate Events) by Lemony Snicket
34. The Penultimate Peril (Book 12 in a Series of Unfortunate Events) by Lemony Snicket
33. The End (Book 13 in a Series of Unfortunate Events) by Lemony Snicket
32. Sleeping Murder by Agatha Christie
31. Evil Under the Sun by Agatha Christie
30. Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Time of Your Life by Joss Whedon
29. Every Second Counts by Lance Armstrong
28. The Yiddish Policemen’s Union by Michael Chabon
27. Siddhartha by Hermann Hesse
26. Paper Towns by John Green
