Some books are just good...

Some books are good; some books are really good; and some books are “Oh my god I just sat down and read 305 pages in one sitting” good. That’s John Green’s Paper Towns. Man, is it good. I got turned on to John Green through his and his brother’s Brotherhood 2.0 Project a few years ago when my husband discovered a very engaging video blog entry on the internet and we both began following them. All three of his novels (which are “young adult” but don’t necessarily follow any standard formula for that genre) are great. Really great. Read them. Take a day. Read all three in one sitting. I dare you not to find them engaging.

I have to admit, though, that every time I read a great book by a fresh author, I am unwillingly transported back to the memory of the only book I’ve ever read that was just beyond awful.

Don’t get me wrong. I’ve read a number of books I didn’t particularly care for. The Good Earth? Meh. Moby Dick? I don’t quite get the continued emphasis on this book as a classic; the outdated whale talk drove me bonkers. And I’ve read some books that were bad. The book by Dan Brown I read after The DaVinci Code? Hey – good for you, Dan Brown: you can write A book and then clone it, over and over and over and... And don’t lots of readers have a V.C. Andrews phase in their barely post-pubescent past?? But even when I’ve not particularly cared for the book or I’ve known that the book most definitely did NOT qualify as great literature, I’ve been able to point to something to justify why the book was published or is considered “literature.”

But this one book…

To avoid identifying the author, let’s just say that the book was written by the husband of an acquaintance. (But, yes, my friend in Colorado, you will know IMMEDIATELY the book I’m talking about.) We (the acquaintance and I) were in the same book club for a short period of time. She suggested that we all read her husband’s new book, that he come to our meeting after we read it and let us give him feedback. We, being a good-natured group, agreed.

Boy do I wish we hadn’t. It was a struggle to read that book. As much as I was compelled through the pages of John Green’s Paper Towns, I slogged through the pages of this awful book. I fought the constant urge to stop reading it and, finally, after much effort, managed to finish it. I felt OBLIGED to finish.

I sat down and tried really, really, REALLY hard to come up with one positive thing to say about the book. But I couldn’t. The characters were flat. The setting, which was purportedly known to me and the other readers in the book club, was less recognizable than a place I’d never been. The plot was contrived. There was this allegorical theme, this device, that jumped. Out. And. Beat. You. Over. The. Head. Every. Time. It. Appeared. Even the editing was terrible.

I felt horrible. I mean, I KNEW this guy’s wife. I WANTED to like his book. I’d read some of his professional journalistic-style writing – it was (and still is) quite good. I even looked FORWARD to getting these folks’ annual holiday letter because he made it really, really fun! But I couldn’t go to book club and face this author. I just couldn’t. So I didn’t.

But I still think about that book.

If you have a “worst book” story, I’d love to hear it!

100. Through the Looking Glass by Lewis Carroll
99. The Cat Who Covered the World by Christopher S. Wren
98. The Turn of the Screw by Henry James
97. Emily the Strange by Anonymous
96. Anathem by Neal Stephenson
95. The Higher Power of Lucky by Susan Patron, illustrated by Matt Phelan
94. A Thief in the House of Memory by Tim Wynne-Jones
93. Last Child in the Woods by Richard Louv
92. An Abundance of Katherines by John Green
91. Beauty by Robin McKinley
90. The Last Unicorn by Peter S. Beagle
89. The Unicorn Sonata by Peter S. Beagle
88. Revenge by Stephen Fry
87. Summerland by Michael Chabon
86. Becoming Myself: Reflections on Growing up Female by Willa Shalit
85. The Stars My Destination by Alfred Bester
84. The Crimes of Charlotte Bronte by James Tully
83. Alphabet Juice by Roy Blount Jr.
82. The Book Thief by Markus Zusak
81. A Death in White Bear Lake: The True Chronicle of an All-American Town by Barry Siegel
80. The Girls Who Went Away: The Hidden History of Women Who Surrendered Children for Adoption in the Decades Before Roe v. Wade by Ann Fessler
79. Captain Alatriste by Arturo Perez Reverte
78. Purity of Blood by Arturo Perez Reverte
77. The Sun Over Breda by Arturo Perez Reverte
76. The King’s Gold by Arturo Perez Reverte
75. Mosaic by Amy Grant
74. Blink by Malcolm Gladwell
73. Aquarium Care of Bettas by David E. Boruchowitz
72. Eat Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert
71. The Miserable Mill (Book 4 in a Series of Unfortunate Events) by Lemony Snicket
70. A Drowned Maiden’s Hair by Laura Amy Schlitz
69. Pilgrims by Elizabeth Gilbert
68. Buffy the Vampire Slayer Season 8: Volume 2: No Future for You
67. Buffy the Vampire Slayer Season 8: Volume 3: Wolves at the Gate
66. McSweeney’s Enchanted Chamber of Astonishing Stories edited by Michael Chabon
65. Spike: After the Fall by Joss Whedon
64. Hateship, Friendship, Courtship, Loveship, Marriage by Alice Munro
63. Smoke and Mirrors by Neil Gaiman
62. Moral Disorder and other stories by Margaret Atwood
61. Stern Men by Elizabeth Gilbert
60. The Hour I First Believed by Wally Lamb
59. Hood by Stephen Lawhead
58. Scarlet by Stephen Lawhead
57. The Ruby in the Smoke by Philip Pullman
56. Tithe: A Modern Faerie Tale by Holly Black
55. Hercule Poirot’s Chistmas by Agatha Christie
54. The Austere Academy (Book 5 in a Series of Unfortunate Events) by Lemony Snicket
53. The Ersatz Elevator (Book 6 in a Series of Unfortunate Events) by Lemony Snicket
52. The Vile Village (Book 7 in a Series of Unfortunate Events) by Lemony Snicket
51. Shadow in the North by Philip Pullman
50. The Tiger in the Well by Philip Pullman
49. Peril at End House by Agatha Christie
48. Ironside by Holly Black
47. Mirror Mirror by Gregory Maguire
46. Getting the Girl by Markus Zusak
45. Looking for Alaska by John Green
44. The Last Child by John Hart
43. Brave Story by Miyuki Miyabe
42. The Tipping Point by Malcom Gladwell
41. It’s Not About the Bike by Lance Armstrong
40. The Hostile Hospital (Book 8 in a Series of Unfortunate Events) by Lemony Snicket
39. The Carnivorous Carnival (Book 9 in a Series of Unfortunate Events) by Lemony Snicket
38. The Slippery Slope (Book 10 in a Series of Unfortunate Events) by Lemony Snicket
37. The Painter of Battles by Arturo Perez-Reverte
36. The Tin Princess by Philip Pullman
35. The Grim Grotto (Book 11 in a Series of Unfortunate Events) by Lemony Snicket
34. The Penultimate Peril (Book 12 in a Series of Unfortunate Events) by Lemony Snicket
33. The End (Book 13 in a Series of Unfortunate Events) by Lemony Snicket
32. Sleeping Murder by Agatha Christie
31. Evil Under the Sun by Agatha Christie
30. Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Time of Your Life by Joss Whedon
29. Every Second Counts by Lance Armstrong
28. The Yiddish Policemen’s Union by Michael Chabon
27. Siddhartha by Hermann Hesse
26. Paper Towns by John Green

How are you feeling?

“How are you feeling?”

Since announcing the upcoming arrival of baby #2 (a boy!) in November, this question has largely replaced the standard “How are you?” when folks greet me. It drives me nuts.

Why, you might ask, does such a simple, and presumably well-meaning, question drive me up the wall??

I don’t know. Not really. But I have some rough thoughts about it.

“How are you feeling?” seems to insinuate some degree of familiarity. The question doesn’t bother me so much when it comes from my spouse or my mother or my mother-in-law. They genuinely want to know how I am feeling.

But from others, question seems to go, well, beyond what’s seemly to ask someone who’s not closely related to you or with whom you are not long, long time friends or intimately acquainted. Think about it: how often do YOU ask someone how they feel? If you’re not ill or pregnant or in mourning, when does anyone ever ask you “How are you feeling?” Unless you happen to be sitting on the proverbial couch with your shrink of choice, visiting your physician, or sitting at a loved one’s funeral, people don’t generally probe into your feelings (physical or mental).

“How are you feeling?” also seems to imply some degree of solicitousness, which, I propose, is only affected and not genuine. People want to seem like they care about your pregnancy so that ask how you feel. I fail to believe that some random acquaintance, business colleague, neighbor, or even most of my friends really want to know that I am feeling gassy, bloated, rather stricken with heartburn, exceptionally tired, and a little surprised to be having a boy but otherwise FANTASTIC, thank you very much.

Let’s face it, the standard “how are you?” or “how’s it going?” doesn’t mean anything. People don’t want to know how you are. They want a “fine. How are you?” in response and then for everyone to get on with their day. No one really cares about your bad day or your promotion that has you on top of the world or your irritation with your spouse because he forgot to pick up the clothes you needed from the cleaners in spite of four reminders. Why should things be any different just because there’s a baby in my uterus??

Finally, “how are you feeling?” seems to imply that I shouldn’t be feeling well. And, as noted above, other than feeling gassy, bloated, rather stricken with heartburn, exceptionally tired, and a little surprised to be having a boy, I feel FANTASTIC! With my first pregnancy, a dear friend persistently asked me “how are you feeling?” with a furrowed brow and look of deep concern on her face. After about 10 times, I couldn’t take it anymore and finally had to say, “I feel FINE. I’m not TERMINALLY ILL. I’m PREGNANT.”

I know, I know, some women have terrible pregnancies with lots of awful side effects and they do not feel FINE. But, you know, they probably don’t want you implying that they should feel like crap. And they probably don’t want folks’ faux solicitousness or unjustifiably insinuated familiarity, either.

Or it could all just be that I have raging hormones and anything anyone says to me is likely to be taken completely out of context.

So, next time you see me, do yourself a favor. Feel free to say hello, but unless you REALLY want to know how I’m feeling stick to “how’s it goin’?” and just steer clear of the crazy pregnant lady’s pet peeves.

It's been a long time...

I've been absent. I'm sorry. I've been pregnant. I've got other things to think about. But, I have been reading, and I do have some random thoughts to share. First, the reading update:

100. Through the Looking Glass by Lewis Carroll
99. The Cat Who Covered the World by Christopher S. Wren
98. The Turn of the Screw by Henry James
97. Emily the Strange by Anonymous
96. Anathem by Neal Stephenson
95. The Higher Power of Lucky by Susan Patron, illustrated by Matt Phelan
94. A Thief in the House of Memory by Tim Wynne-Jones
93. Last Child in the Woods by Richard Louv
92. An Abundance of Katherines by John Green
91. Beauty by Robin McKinley
90. The Last Unicorn by Peter S. Beagle
89. The Unicorn Sonata by Peter S. Beagle
88. Revenge by Stephen Fry
87. Summerland by Michael Chabon
86. Becoming Myself: Reflections on Growing up Female by Willa Shalit
85. The Stars My Destination by Alfred Bester
84. The Crimes of Charlotte Bronte by James Tully
83. Alphabet Juice by Roy Blount Jr.
82. The Book Thief by Markus Zusak
81. A Death in White Bear Lake: The True Chronicle of an All-American Town by Barry Siegel
80. The Girls Who Went Away: The Hidden History of Women Who Surrendered Children for Adoption in the Decades Before Roe v. Wade by Ann Fessler
79. Captain Alatriste by Arturo Perez Reverte
78. Purity of Blood by Arturo Perez Reverte
77. The Sun Over Breda by Arturo Perez Reverte
76. The King’s Gold by Arturo Perez Reverte
75. Mosaic by Amy Grant
74. Blink by Malcolm Gladwell
73. Aquarium Care of Bettas by David E. Boruchowitz
72. Eat Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert
71. The Miserable Mill (Book 4 in a Series of Unfortunate Events) by Lemony Snicket
70. A Drowned Maiden’s Hair by Laura Amy Schlitz
69. Pilgrims by Elizabeth Gilbert
68. Buffy the Vampire Slayer Season 8: Volume 2: No Future for You
67. Buffy the Vampire Slayer Season 8: Volume 3: Wolves at the Gate
66. McSweeney’s Enchanted Chamber of Astonishing Stories edited by Michael Chabon
65. Spike: After the Fall by Joss Whedon
64. Hateship, Friendship, Courtship, Loveship, Marriage by Alice Munro
63. Smoke and Mirrors by Neil Gaiman
62. Moral Disorder and other stories by Margaret Atwood
61. Stern Men by Elizabeth Gilbert
60. The Hour I First Believed by Wally Lamb
59. Hood by Stephen Lawhead
58. Scarlet by Stephen Lawhead
57. The Ruby in the Smoke by Philip Pullman
56. Tithe: A Modern Faerie Tale by Holly Black
55. Hercule Poirot’s Chistmas by Agatha Christie
54. The Austere Academy (Book 5 in a Series of Unfortunate Events) by Lemony Snicket
53. The Ersatz Elevator (Book 6 in a Series of Unfortunate Events) by Lemony Snicket
52. The Vile Village (Book 7 in a Series of Unfortunate Events) by Lemony Snicket
51. Shadow in the North by Philip Pullman
50. The Tiger in the Well by Philip Pullman
49. Peril at End House by Agatha Christie
48. Ironside by Holly Black
47. Mirror Mirror by Gregory Maguire
46. Getting the Girl by Markus Zusak
45. Looking for Alaska by John Green
44. The Last Child by John Hart

Now read on (or above) for my random thoughts!

A Tale of Two Memoirs

I don’t often delve into the genre of memoir. I’m not much of a voyeur; I don’t feel the need for Oprah-like inspiration from the amazing progress of others in overcoming their terrible lives; and I usually don’t care enough about what celebrities do when they’re not on camera or historical figures did when they weren’t politicking, saving the world, or whatever to read a whole book about it. That said, I do occasionally go there, and I’ve had two books passed on to me by my mother sitting on my “to-read” shelf for some time, Amy Grant’s Mosaic and Elizabeth Gilbert’s Eat Pray Love. The two books are a lesson in how (or how not) to write a memoir.

Both women have struggled with depression throughout their lives. Both went through not particularly pleasant divorces. Both sought meaning in their lives through spiritual growth. And that’s pretty much where the similarities end between the two memoirs. Let me say that when I do bother to read a memoir, I want to come away feeling like I’ve learned something, like I know the person better or can take away something about their experience that is, if not helpful, at least interesting. In this regard, Mosaic left me dry; Eat Pray Love left me thirsting for more.

Grant tells you she’s dealt with depression. She tells you she’s struggled. She tells you she’s cried. Gilbert shows you what depression looks like. She takes you there (without dragging you down into it). Having dealt with depression myself, both personally and with friends and family, I came away from portions of Eat Pray Love thinking, “yeah, that is exactly what it’s like.” I loved her story of sobbing on the floor and feeling so tired of feeling lost and sad:

Is there anything about this scene you can change, Liz?’ And all I could think
to do was stand up, while still sobbing, and try to balance on one foot in the
middle of my living room. Just to prove that – while I couldn’t stop the
tears or change my dismal interior dialogue – I was not yet totally out of
control: at least I could cry hysterically while balanced on one foot.
Hey, it was a start.

Yeah, she was depressed, but she made me laugh because that is such a real story.

Similarly, Grant tells you that she’s divorced and hints that it wasn’t particularly pleasant but she withholds any information that could allow you to relate to her experience, anything that would allow you to understand how that experience affected her. (Oh, she tells you it affected her, but you don’t see it.) I’m certain she’s trying to protect her children and her ex-husband by not revealing any dirty details, but she doesn’t HAVE to reveal anything to make the experience relatable. Gilbert tells the reader only:

But I don’t think it’s appropriate for me to discuss his issues in my
book. Nor would I ask anyone to believe that I am capable of reporting an
unbiased version of our story, and therefore the chronicle of our marriage’s
failure will remain untold her. I also will not discuss here all the
reasons why I did still want to be his wife, or all his wonderfulness, or why I
loved him and why I had married him and why I was unable to imagine life without
him.

And yet, I walked away from Eat Pray Love with a complete sense of the divorce and its aftermath.

Similarly, the two writers’ treatment of their spiritual journeys is worlds apart. Going into Mosaic, I knew that Amy Grant has been a pop Christian artist since her teenage years and that her faith is integral to her music. Coming out of Mosaic, I knew that Amy Grant has been a pop Christian artist since her teenage years and that her faith is integral to her music. She told me so. While she shared some anecdotes and stories of her youth, I have absolutely no sense of Grant’s spiritual journey, of why she believes as she does, of what makes her faith so important to her. Gilbert takes us along on the journey. Ultimately, her entire book is about that journey. And even if the reader doesn’t believe everything she does, her story is real and it has substance and I understand it.

So, if I see another Amy Grant memoir any time soon, I’ll be passing by the opportunity for her to tell me more about her life. But when Elizabeth Gilbert’s next effort comes out, hopefully later this year, you can bet I’ll be picking up a copy so she can paint me some more lovely word pictures about her life.


A few words about some other recent reads. I love Arturo Perez Reverte. He's one of my favorite writers. I've read all his books. And reading them in English translation makes me want to read them in the original Spanish. I can't recommend them enough.

And yes, I read a book about Bettas. The newest addition to our family is Fishy Gink, which DD desperately wanted for her third birthday. In true Type A, control-freak, anal-retentive fashion, I had to read the book on how to care for the little guy.

And here's the update:

100. Through the Looking Glass by Lewis Carroll
99. The Cat Who Covered the World by Christopher S. Wren
98. The Turn of the Screw by Henry James
97. Emily the Strange by Anonymous
96. Anathem by Neal Stephenson
95. The Higher Power of Lucky by Susan Patron, illustrated by Matt Phelan
94. A Thief in the House of Memory by Tim Wynne-Jones
93. Last Child in the Woods by Richard Louv
92. An Abundance of Katherines by John Green
91. Beauty by Robin McKinley
90. The Last Unicorn by Peter S. Beagle
89. The Unicorn Sonata by Peter S. Beagle
88. Revenge by Stephen Fry
87. Summerland by Michael Chabon
86. Becoming Myself: Reflections on Growing up Female by Willa Shalit
85. The Stars My Destination by Alfred Bester
84. The Crimes of Charlotte Bronte by James Tully
83. Alphabet Juice by Roy Blount Jr.
82. The Book Thief by Markus Zusak
81. A Death in White Bear Lake: The True Chronicle of an All-American Town by Barry Siegel
80. The Girls Who Went Away: The Hidden History of Women Who Surrendered Children for Adoption in the Decades Before Roe v. Wade by Ann Fessler
79. Captain Alatriste by Arturo Perez Reverte
78. Purity of Blood by Arturo Perez Reverte
77. The Sun Over Breda by Arturo Perez Reverte
76. The King’s Gold by Arturo Perez Reverte
75. Mosaic by Amy Grant
74. Blink by Malcolm Gladwell
73. Aquarium Care of Bettas by David E. Boruchowitz
72. Eat Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert

Woefully Absent

I have been woefully, but not unjustifiably, absent from my blog recent. Life has gotten in the way. Work, a cold, fun times with DD, watching NCAA basketball, sleeping -- all have conspired to keep me from my keyboard. But, I HAVE been reading. Here's an update:

100. Through the Looking Glass by Lewis Carroll
99. The Cat Who Covered the World by Christopher S. Wren
98. The Turn of the Screw by Henry James
97. Emily the Strange by Anonymous
96. Anathem by Neal Stephenson
95. The Higher Power of Lucky by Susan Patron, illustrated by Matt Phelan
94. A Thief in the House of Memory by Tim Wynne-Jones
93. Last Child in the Woods by Richard Louv
92. An Abundance of Katherines by John Green
91. Beauty by Robin McKinley
90. The Last Unicorn by Peter S. Beagle
89. The Unicorn Sonata by Peter S. Beagle
88. Revenge by Stephen Fry
87. Summerland by Michael Chabon
86. Becoming Myself: Reflections on Growing up Female by Willa Shalit
85. The Stars My Destination by Alfred Bester
84. The Crimes of Charlotte Bronte by James Tully

More books...

Ooooo, I love a good suspense novel, and Stephen Fry's book Revenge hit the spot. A retelling of The Count of Monte Cristo, the novel is an excellent update to that fine story. The book follows the travails of Ned, the victim of a prank that goes very, very wrong and lands him in a mental asylum for years. The pacing was great, and even though I pretty much knew how things would end (having read TCoMC), I couldn't wait to get there with Ned. Fry's more known for his comic novels (and for being part of a comic duo with House's Hugh Laurie). Given my enjoyment of Revenge, you can expect to see at least one of those comic efforts further down this list.

100. Through the Looking Glass by Lewis Carroll
99. The Cat Who Covered the World by Christopher S. Wren
98. The Turn of the Screw by Henry James
97. Emily the Strange by Anonymous
96. Anathem by Neal Stephenson
95. The Higher Power of Lucky by Susan Patron, illustrated by Matt Phelan
94. A Thief in the House of Memory by Tim Wynne-Jones
93. Last Child in the Woods by Richard Louv
92. An Abundance of Katherines by John Green
91. Beauty by Robin McKinley
90. The Last Unicorn by Peter S. Beagle
89. The Unicorn Sonata by Peter S. Beagle
88. Revenge by Stephen Fry

100 Books Update

Just a quick update today! I finished the laugh-out-loud funny An Abundance of Katherines by John Green a few days ago. My husband discovered this author through his (the author’s not my husband’s) daily video blogging as part of the Brotherhood Project 2.0. If you need a good laugh, check out the book and check out John and his brother Hank’s year-long web “correspondence” on YouTube. I’ve not laughed this hard in a loooooong time.

Beauty is a retelling of the Beauty and the Beast story. This was Robin McKinley’s first work, and I’ve read and enjoyed several of her later books, so it was hard to pass this up when I saw it on the library’s new acquisitions shelf. While the story isn’t new, the telling is good, and I enjoyed it!

P.S. I did finish Last Child in the Woods, but I think I've said all I'm going to say about kids today not getting the outdoor free time that I had as a child. Read the book if you wish. It's good but not earth-shaking.



100. Through the Looking Glass by Lewis Carroll
99. The Cat Who Covered the World by Christopher S. Wren
98. The Turn of the Screw by Henry James
97. Emily the Strange by Anonymous
96. Anathem by Neal Stephenson
95. The Higher Power of Lucky by Susan Patron, illustrated by Matt Phelan
94. A Thief in the House of Memory by Tim Wynne-Jones
93. Last Child in the Woods by Richard Louv
92. An Abundance of Katherines by John Green
91. Beauty by Robin McKinley