A Tale of Two Memoirs

I don’t often delve into the genre of memoir. I’m not much of a voyeur; I don’t feel the need for Oprah-like inspiration from the amazing progress of others in overcoming their terrible lives; and I usually don’t care enough about what celebrities do when they’re not on camera or historical figures did when they weren’t politicking, saving the world, or whatever to read a whole book about it. That said, I do occasionally go there, and I’ve had two books passed on to me by my mother sitting on my “to-read” shelf for some time, Amy Grant’s Mosaic and Elizabeth Gilbert’s Eat Pray Love. The two books are a lesson in how (or how not) to write a memoir.

Both women have struggled with depression throughout their lives. Both went through not particularly pleasant divorces. Both sought meaning in their lives through spiritual growth. And that’s pretty much where the similarities end between the two memoirs. Let me say that when I do bother to read a memoir, I want to come away feeling like I’ve learned something, like I know the person better or can take away something about their experience that is, if not helpful, at least interesting. In this regard, Mosaic left me dry; Eat Pray Love left me thirsting for more.

Grant tells you she’s dealt with depression. She tells you she’s struggled. She tells you she’s cried. Gilbert shows you what depression looks like. She takes you there (without dragging you down into it). Having dealt with depression myself, both personally and with friends and family, I came away from portions of Eat Pray Love thinking, “yeah, that is exactly what it’s like.” I loved her story of sobbing on the floor and feeling so tired of feeling lost and sad:

Is there anything about this scene you can change, Liz?’ And all I could think
to do was stand up, while still sobbing, and try to balance on one foot in the
middle of my living room. Just to prove that – while I couldn’t stop the
tears or change my dismal interior dialogue – I was not yet totally out of
control: at least I could cry hysterically while balanced on one foot.
Hey, it was a start.

Yeah, she was depressed, but she made me laugh because that is such a real story.

Similarly, Grant tells you that she’s divorced and hints that it wasn’t particularly pleasant but she withholds any information that could allow you to relate to her experience, anything that would allow you to understand how that experience affected her. (Oh, she tells you it affected her, but you don’t see it.) I’m certain she’s trying to protect her children and her ex-husband by not revealing any dirty details, but she doesn’t HAVE to reveal anything to make the experience relatable. Gilbert tells the reader only:

But I don’t think it’s appropriate for me to discuss his issues in my
book. Nor would I ask anyone to believe that I am capable of reporting an
unbiased version of our story, and therefore the chronicle of our marriage’s
failure will remain untold her. I also will not discuss here all the
reasons why I did still want to be his wife, or all his wonderfulness, or why I
loved him and why I had married him and why I was unable to imagine life without
him.

And yet, I walked away from Eat Pray Love with a complete sense of the divorce and its aftermath.

Similarly, the two writers’ treatment of their spiritual journeys is worlds apart. Going into Mosaic, I knew that Amy Grant has been a pop Christian artist since her teenage years and that her faith is integral to her music. Coming out of Mosaic, I knew that Amy Grant has been a pop Christian artist since her teenage years and that her faith is integral to her music. She told me so. While she shared some anecdotes and stories of her youth, I have absolutely no sense of Grant’s spiritual journey, of why she believes as she does, of what makes her faith so important to her. Gilbert takes us along on the journey. Ultimately, her entire book is about that journey. And even if the reader doesn’t believe everything she does, her story is real and it has substance and I understand it.

So, if I see another Amy Grant memoir any time soon, I’ll be passing by the opportunity for her to tell me more about her life. But when Elizabeth Gilbert’s next effort comes out, hopefully later this year, you can bet I’ll be picking up a copy so she can paint me some more lovely word pictures about her life.


A few words about some other recent reads. I love Arturo Perez Reverte. He's one of my favorite writers. I've read all his books. And reading them in English translation makes me want to read them in the original Spanish. I can't recommend them enough.

And yes, I read a book about Bettas. The newest addition to our family is Fishy Gink, which DD desperately wanted for her third birthday. In true Type A, control-freak, anal-retentive fashion, I had to read the book on how to care for the little guy.

And here's the update:

100. Through the Looking Glass by Lewis Carroll
99. The Cat Who Covered the World by Christopher S. Wren
98. The Turn of the Screw by Henry James
97. Emily the Strange by Anonymous
96. Anathem by Neal Stephenson
95. The Higher Power of Lucky by Susan Patron, illustrated by Matt Phelan
94. A Thief in the House of Memory by Tim Wynne-Jones
93. Last Child in the Woods by Richard Louv
92. An Abundance of Katherines by John Green
91. Beauty by Robin McKinley
90. The Last Unicorn by Peter S. Beagle
89. The Unicorn Sonata by Peter S. Beagle
88. Revenge by Stephen Fry
87. Summerland by Michael Chabon
86. Becoming Myself: Reflections on Growing up Female by Willa Shalit
85. The Stars My Destination by Alfred Bester
84. The Crimes of Charlotte Bronte by James Tully
83. Alphabet Juice by Roy Blount Jr.
82. The Book Thief by Markus Zusak
81. A Death in White Bear Lake: The True Chronicle of an All-American Town by Barry Siegel
80. The Girls Who Went Away: The Hidden History of Women Who Surrendered Children for Adoption in the Decades Before Roe v. Wade by Ann Fessler
79. Captain Alatriste by Arturo Perez Reverte
78. Purity of Blood by Arturo Perez Reverte
77. The Sun Over Breda by Arturo Perez Reverte
76. The King’s Gold by Arturo Perez Reverte
75. Mosaic by Amy Grant
74. Blink by Malcolm Gladwell
73. Aquarium Care of Bettas by David E. Boruchowitz
72. Eat Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert