Sunday, January 24, 2010

Nod & Smile

I wonder how many other parents out there are “nod and smile” parents like me?

Since having DD, I have learned one of the best overall parenting rules: trust your instincts, and as a result, I have become a “nod and smile” parent. Let me tell you the story.

When DD was about ten weeks old, her weight plateaued. At the same time, she began struggling at the breast and having green mucus-y poop, which my sister dubbed “the mucus monster.” Every time we nursed, it was upsetting to watch her squirm and fuss, and the diapers… well they were a nightmare.

So we did what many parents do: we turned to the pediatrician. He quickly diagnosed reflux and put her on medication. DD hated the medication, and it seemed to suppress her appetite further. But we plugged on.

We went back to the doctor for a check-in. Still no weight gain, so he told me to use a supplemental nursing system (SNS). Ever heard of that? It’s a delightful contraption. You pump milk, fill this little container that rests between your breasts while you’re nursing, and tape small tubes attached to the container to your breasts, making sure that the ends of the tubes line up with your nipples. That way, when baby nurses, she gets extra milk. Dutifully, I complied with the doctor’s order.

DD refused to nurse at all if I had the SNS on. After several attempts, I scrapped it. I mean, she was not gaining weight in the first place, so it made no sense to use something that caused her to refuse to nurse at all.

We went back to the doctor. This time we saw a nurse practitioner, who treated me like I was the most horrible mother in the world because my child was not gaining weight. Clearly, it was my fault. I mean, I had stopped using the SNS. And when she told me I must give DD additional bottles, I told her DD refused bottles. (Boy did she. She fought bottle-nursing so vigorously, regardless of who gave her the bottle, that we abandoned that battle after four or five weeks of fighting.) That went over really well with the nurse practitioner, let me tell you. I left the appointment almost in tears with instructions to continue the reflux medication and the proviso that if DD didn’t gain weight, we would HAVE to formula-feed (which I don’t know how that would work, exactly, with a child who refuses a bottle). (Note, we’ve refused to see that nurse practitioner ever again.)

So I went home and again did what many parents do: I turned to other sources. I re-read the breastfeeding guide I got in my breastfeeding class. I scoured Dr. Sears’ The Baby Book for information. I talked to my mother-in-law and mother and the moms in my playgroup.

And, yes, I went on the internet. I ended up at the La Leche League website where I discovered information about rapid milk letdown. See, it’s this situation where the milk letdown is so vigorous that the baby – get ready for this – struggles at the breast and has green, mucus-y poop. (The mucus monster is the result of baby nursing shallowly in an effort to avoid the rapid ejection of milk then popping off and therefore getting dilute, not-very-fatty milk.) In other words, the baby has symptoms almost identical to those of reflux, which is, according to the website, often misdiagnosed. No wonder DD wouldn’t nurse with the SNS in place – it was exacerbating the problem she was struggling against!

The La Leche website offered a few suggestions, including nursing baby on the same side over several feedings to make sure she gets the most concentrated fattiest milk, not doing the traditional alternating nursing, and (dah duh dum) introducing solid food. I decided to trust my instincts that THIS was what was going on with DD and scrap the doctor’s advice. I immediately took DD off the reflux medication and threw it away. I ditched the SNS forever. And (gasp) I bought rice cereal, applesauce, and pears for my four-month-old. We began non-alternate nursing (e.g., nursing session one is right breast then left, session two is left then right, session three is right then left, and so on) or nursing solely on one side for three or four sessions. At my mother and mother-in-law’s advice, DD started with rice cereal then smacked down applesauce and, a few days later, pureed pears.

She gained weight. Almost a pound in four days.

She stopped struggling at the breast.

The mucus monster went away.

Victory, right?

We went back to the doctor, who proceeded to lecture me on the dangers of introducing solid foods before six months. I was astounded. I was thinking, “Really? You’re going to lecture me on feeding my child solids ‘early’ when I’ve told you I don’t think it’s reflux, that she won’t nurse when I wear the SNS, that she refuses to take a bottle, and that she’s gained a POUND in FOUR DAYS because of what I’m doing? Not to mention that we have NO history of food allergies on either side of the family AND my mother-in-law and mother both told me they put rice cereal AND applesauce in our bottles at THREE WEEKS??????”

What did I do? I nodded and smiled. And I went home and did exactly what I thought was best for my child.

(And I switched doctors.)

About five weeks ago, we saw our current pediatrician for DS’s one-month check-up. The doctor, in his typical non-nonsense way, told me to introduce the bottle now. (Not “if you’re doing it, now is the time” but “do it now.”) Then, at our two-month check-up, he gave me advice about getting my attachment-parenting-style-parented son to sleep through the night. The advice largely consisted of “let him cry it out”-style instructions.

Me? I just nodded and smiled.

Saturday, January 16, 2010

100 Books Over and Done!

Wow, it has been a long time! Did I mention I was pregnant and had DS on Friday the 13th of November?? As you can imagine, I've been a little busy. BUT I HAVE completed my 100 books journey!

As my 100 books project has gone along, I’ve gotten a number of questions, and I thought I’d take this opportunity to answer them.

Question 1: Why read 100 books? Well, because. I mean, why not?

Question 2: How did you find time to read all those books? Generally speaking, I read a lot, voraciously, even. I love to read so it’s not much of a challenge to find time. When I’m not trying to read 100 books in a year, I usually read for anywhere from a few minutes to a few hours before going to bed. I read when I’m bored. I read whenever I have time. This past year, while trying to read 100 books, I did set aside some additional time to read. I took my book with me and read while waiting in line. I read instead of watching TV. I read in the bathroom and, occasionally, during meals. I read when I was asleep, too. (Just kidding.)

Question 3: Did you change what you read to fit the number of books in? Not as it pertains to books. I love to read a variety of genres, including young adult and children’s fiction, which do come bound in covers that are much closer together than, say, most of Neal Stephenson’s sci-fi novels. I like classics and mystery and historical fiction and fantasy and sci-fi – just about everything. Except for romance. I’m not a romance reader. BUT, I did have to drop some magazine reading. I do enjoy National Geographic and read it cover-to-cover. I have about a year's worth of issues waiting on me, so I’ll probably spend some time catching up on that before tackling another book project.

Question 4: Was there anything you read that you wish you hadn’t? Well, no, not really. I liked some books better than others. By and large, though, if I didn’t like a book, I didn’t read it.

Which leads me to Question 5: Were there any books you started but couldn’t finish? Yes, and this is a rare thing for me. I don’t like to put a book down without completing it. However, it does occasionally happen. Want me to name names? I simply couldn’t read Laura Esquivel’s Law of Love. I read Like Water for Chocolate some years ago and enjoyed it. LoL was, frankly, too weird for me (and that is saying A LOT, see the answer to Question 3). I read the first few chapters, thought “I don’t kno-ow,” then skipped to the end and read the last page. I'm all about suspending belief, but it just didn’t work for me. I mean, I think a modern writer should never write about a terraformed Jupiter. That may be acceptable for someone writing in, say, 1920, but we know pretty clearly now that Jupiter is a gas giant, ok? I also couldn’t finish James Branch Cabell’s Figures of Earth, which really bummed me out. Robert Heinlein, the author of several books I really like, cited Cabell as an inspiration, so I wanted to like the book, I really did. It is sitting on my nightstand with a bookmark about half-way through it. I plan to try to finish it this year…

Question 6: What were your top 5 books out of the 100? (Thanks Justin!) That’s a tough one. If you look at my list, you can tell that there are clearly some authors I like because when I enjoy one work by an author, I tend to seek out and read others. When I look back at my list, there are a few titles that pop out at me, and there are some books that continue to occupy my thoughts. So, largely in no particular order:

1. Eat Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert. I’m disappointed that I didn’t make it over to Agnes Scott College this past Monday evening to hear her speak, but I look forward to reading her next book (and you’ll note I read two others by her in the 100).

2. Blink and The Tipping Point by Malcolm Gladwell. OK, so this is two books and not one, but I still think about and talk to my husband (and anyone else who’s handy) about the concepts in these books.

3. Since I’ve already cheated for Malcolm Gladwell’s books, how about I do it again because I really enjoyed all three books by John Green that I read (An Abundance of Katherines, Looking for Alaska, and Paper Towns). Nerdfighters unite!

4. Sorry, I’m cheating again. Anathem by Neal Stephenson and The Glass Bead Game by Hermann Hesse were both great reads, and they were similar thematically. Was Stephenson inspired by Hesse? I don’t know, but it wouldn’t surprise me.

5. Finally, my favorite book of the year was (drum roll please) The Higher Power of Lucky by Susan Patron. I flat out enjoyed it. I haven’t read a book so on-the-nose about children’s inner lives since Ender’s Game.

Thanks for reading!

Here's the final list:

100. Through the Looking Glass by Lewis Carroll
99. The Cat Who Covered the World by Christopher S. Wren
98. The Turn of the Screw by Henry James
97. Emily the Strange by Anonymous
96. Anathem by Neal Stephenson
95. The Higher Power of Lucky by Susan Patron, illustrated by Matt Phelan
94. A Thief in the House of Memory by Tim Wynne-Jones
93. Last Child in the Woods by Richard Louv
92. An Abundance of Katherines by John Green
91. Beauty by Robin McKinley
90. The Last Unicorn by Peter S. Beagle
89. The Unicorn Sonata by Peter S. Beagle
88. Revenge by Stephen Fry
87. Summerland by Michael Chabon
86. Becoming Myself: Reflections on Growing up Female by Willa Shalit
85. The Stars My Destination by Alfred Bester
84. The Crimes of Charlotte Bronte by James Tully
83. Alphabet Juice by Roy Blount Jr.
82. The Book Thief by Markus Zusak
81. A Death in White Bear Lake: The True Chronicle of an All-American Town by Barry Siegel
80. The Girls Who Went Away: The Hidden History of Women Who Surrendered Children for Adoption in the Decades Before Roe v. Wade by Ann Fessler
79. Captain Alatriste by Arturo Perez Reverte
78. Purity of Blood by Arturo Perez Reverte
77. The Sun Over Breda by Arturo Perez Reverte
76. The King’s Gold by Arturo Perez Reverte
75. Mosaic by Amy Grant
74. Blink by Malcolm Gladwell
73. Aquarium Care of Bettas by David E. Boruchowitz
72. Eat Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert
71. The Miserable Mill (Book 4 in a Series of Unfortunate Events) by Lemony Snicket
70. A Drowned Maiden’s Hair by Laura Amy Schlitz
69. Pilgrims by Elizabeth Gilbert
68. Buffy the Vampire Slayer Season 8: Volume 2: No Future for You
67. Buffy the Vampire Slayer Season 8: Volume 3: Wolves at the Gate
66. McSweeney’s Enchanted Chamber of Astonishing Stories edited by Michael Chabon
65. Spike: After the Fall by Joss Whedon
64. Hateship, Friendship, Courtship, Loveship, Marriage by Alice Munro
63. Smoke and Mirrors by Neil Gaiman
62. Moral Disorder and other stories by Margaret Atwood
61. Stern Men by Elizabeth Gilbert
60. The Hour I First Believed by Wally Lamb
59. Hood by Stephen Lawhead
58. Scarlet by Stephen Lawhead
57. The Ruby in the Smoke by Philip Pullman
56. Tithe: A Modern Faerie Tale by Holly Black
55. Hercule Poirot’s Chistmas by Agatha Christie
54. The Austere Academy (Book 5 in a Series of Unfortunate Events) by Lemony Snicket
53. The Ersatz Elevator (Book 6 in a Series of Unfortunate Events) by Lemony Snicket
52. The Vile Village (Book 7 in a Series of Unfortunate Events) by Lemony Snicket
51. Shadow in the North by Philip Pullman
50. The Tiger in the Well by Philip Pullman
49. Peril at End House by Agatha Christie
48. Ironside by Holly Black
47. Mirror Mirror by Gregory Maguire
46. Getting the Girl by Markus Zusak
45. Looking for Alaska by John Green
44. The Last Child by John Hart
43. Brave Story by Miyuki Miyabe
42. The Tipping Point by Malcom Gladwell
41. It’s Not About the Bike by Lance Armstrong
40. The Hostile Hospital (Book 8 in a Series of Unfortunate Events) by Lemony Snicket
39. The Carnivorous Carnival (Book 9 in a Series of Unfortunate Events) by Lemony Snicket
38. The Slippery Slope (Book 10 in a Series of Unfortunate Events) by Lemony Snicket
37. The Painter of Battles by Arturo Perez-Reverte
36. The Tin Princess by Philip Pullman
35. The Grim Grotto (Book 11 in a Series of Unfortunate Events) by Lemony Snicket
34. The Penultimate Peril (Book 12 in a Series of Unfortunate Events) by Lemony Snicket
33. The End (Book 13 in a Series of Unfortunate Events) by Lemony Snicket
32. Sleeping Murder by Agatha Christie
31. Evil Under the Sun by Agatha Christie
30. Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Time of Your Life by Joss Whedon
29. Every Second Counts by Lance Armstrong
28. The Yiddish Policemen’s Union by Michael Chabon
27. Siddhartha by Hermann Hesse
26. Paper Towns by John Green
25. The Glass Bead Game by Hermann Hesse
24. The Winter of Our Discontent by John Steinbeck
23. Angel: After the Fall, Vol. 3 by Joss Whedon, Brian Lynch, Nick Runge, & David Messina
22. Angel: After the Fall, Vol. 4 by Joss Whedon, Brian Lynch, Franko Urru, & Alex Garner
21. Lucky Breaks by Susan Patron
20. The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao by Junot Diaz
19. In Defense of Elitism by William A. Henry III
18. Spook Country by William Gibson
17. A Beggar in Jerusalem by Elie Wiesel
16. The Physics of the Buffyverse by Jennifer Ouelette
15. Birth: The Surprising History of How We Are Born by Tina Cassidy
14. I Am the Messenger by Markus Zusak
13. Halting State by Charles Stross
12. Think of England by Alice Elliott Dark
11. Not Quite Dead by John MacLachlan Gray
10. Lost by Gregory Maguire
9. The Secret Adventures of Charlotte Bronte by Laura Joh Rowland
8. Last of the Amazons by Steven Pressfield
7. The Beet Queen by Louis Erdich
6. The Ghost’s Child by Sonya Hartnett
5. Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Predators and Prey by Jane Espensen et al.
4. Angel: Aftermath – Volume Five by Kelly Armstrong
3. Hoot by Carl Hiaasen
2. The Woman in Black: A Ghost Story by Susan Hill
1. I Am the Cheese by Robert Cormier