Alone vs. Lonely

Contrary to what you might think, traveling solo can be not so great for an introvert.  “What?” you say.  “I thought introverts loved being alone.”

Hang on a second.  I am a bona fide introvert.  But let me be clear about what that means.  Do I like being alone?  Sometimes.  Do I like being lonely?  No!

Like most introverts, I’m not shy.  I’m not a loner.  I like people.  I can be very, very chatty.  However… I like my interactions to be with one person or maybe a few people at a time.  An evening in a room full of people at a party?  Blech – feels like a slog that I have to make, makes me feel exhausted.   An evening all by myself?  Nice, every once in a while.  An evening in a pub with a couple of close friends?  Bingo! 

When I travel alone, I often feel surrounded by strangers, like I’m at that party where I must interact with lots of people… or no one.  Not a good feeling, let me tell you.  Where an extrovert may find herself feeling energized by the presence of lots of people and the opportunity to meet and chat with new people, I often find myself feeling a little anxious, a little lost, and a little depressed.  I need people, just not a lot of them, and I definitely need MY people!

I was feeling a little that way this morning while at a conference, which I have been looking forward to and am very excited to attend.  Sitting in the lobby trying to figure out what to do next, I was struck by how much I was NOT enjoying myself.  So many strange faces walking by.  Nothing familiar.  I wished that my husband or a good friend were there for me to chat with, someone to make me feel not so … lonely.  But then, I saw a familiar face and ran into some folks I know and like.  We chatted, and, all of a sudden, I felt more calm, more at ease.

I am now "charging my battery" up in my home-away-from-home hotel room while I wait for the next meetings to start.  Alone, sure, but not lonely!