Talk about timing!

My post on prescription errors seems prescient. In today's Atlanta Journal Constitution, the Spotlight column, which focuses on consumer protection issues, was titled "The harm in pharmacy misfills." Unbeknownst to me, there is a process for reporting these errors to the Georgia Board of Pharmacy so the errors can be tracked and pharmacies can be disciplined, when appropriate. If you have experienced a pharmacy error, I encourage you to report it. If you are in another state, check to see if your state has a similar Board. Here's the information for Georgia:

tinyurl.com/soscomplaint

or

Georgia Board of Pharmacy
237 Coliseum Drive
Macon, GA 31217

As noted in the Spotlight column, "Make sure to include your name and contact information."

Doublecheck Your Rx

Late last week, DD had an unfortunate run-in with a previously nonthreatening cat up in grandma’s neighborhood. The few puncture wounds on her face didn’t look so bad initially, and most had healed by yesterday. But this one spot, had gotten redder and more inflamed looking in spite of regular cleanings and treatments with ointment.

I asked a pediatrician friend to take a quick look at the place – better safe than sorry and good to know if we need to go to the doctor's office, I thought. Turns out, DD needs a heavy-duty antibiotic to knock-out the infection, so I was glad I asked.

But getting our prescription filled was an experience, and I learned a few lessons from it that I wanted to share.

1. Understand what the doctor is prescribing. I don’t mean just getting that the doctor wants you or your child to take an antibiotic. What antibiotic? Why that one? How many doses? For how long? Does the generic version have other names? In our case, the pediatrician was clear that DD needed Augmentin, a tough, knock-em-all-out antibiotic. She explained how often DD needed the medication daily and that she needed to take the entire 10-days’ worth of the medication.

2. Make sure you communicate that information to whomever is picking up the prescription. I had the conversation with the pediatrician; my husband picked up the Rx. I should’ve better communicated to him what he should be getting from the pharmacist. I didn’t.

3. Doublecheck your Rx. Look at the bottle, preferably when you get the prescription filled. Does it have the same name of the medication on it that the doctor prescribed? When I got home from work, I took a look at the medication my husband had picked up earlier in the day. The bottle read Amoxicillin, not Augmentin.

4. If the names don’t match, ask! Ask the pharmacist, “The doctor said she was calling in Augmentin. This says Amoxicillin, not Augmentin. Is this the same thing?” If you are already at home, call the pharmacist or the doctor and confirm if you have ANY doubt at all. Don’t trust the pharmacist to get it correct. Not that pharmacists are untrustworthy, but they fill hundreds of prescriptions each day. Mistakes happen. Clearly. Our pediatrician spoke personally to the pharmacist, she didn’t leave a message on their system, and she clearly prescribed Augmentin. When I called the pharmacy after talking with the pediatrician, the pharmacist double-checked the call-in, and confirmed that Augmentin had, indeed, been prescribed and that they’d made a mistake.

5. Don’t trust yourself to know. In our case, I just happened to have special knowledge about Amoxicillin because I take it every time I go to the dentist thanks to a diagnosis with a heart murmur as a small child. I just happened to know that Amoxicillin is NOT a tough, knock-em-all-out antibiotic and NOT the same as Augmentin. But even had I not known, I should have made that call to the pediatrician and then to the pharmacy.

In our situation, the consequences of a prescription error would have been negative, but thankfully probably not dire. DD, given an ineffective antibiotic, probably would have ended up in the hospital for an intravenous antibiotic to knock out the infection. She could have ended up with scarring on her face from the cellulitis caused by the infection.

The consequences may not always be so relatively minimal. Doublecheck your Rx. I know we will.

Personality

It really is interesting how early distinct personality traits come out in children. It seems some kids are just born gregarious or shy, athletic or bookish, talkative or reticent. As a parent, I find myself walking a line between embracing my child’s natural tendencies and encouraging her not to be limited by them.

DD has never been one for large group activities. Don’t get me wrong. She loves to play with friends. One-on-one play-dates work well. Having three little girls over for a special birthday play-date was the perfect fit.

But, while some other children jump right into the fray at large birthday parties, for example, DD hangs back and watches from a “safe” distance. Though we’ve encouraged her to participate (she is still, after all, at the age where parents hang around for parties), we’ve never pushed her to get involved. Oh, she’ll eat the cake and maybe play with a toy, but if the party gets really going, she’s ready to go too – home!

We saw another example of this tendency this week. A group of parents and children in our neighborhood gets together weekly for toddler soccer. We skipped the activity last season, but this time, when the announcement came out, I asked my husband if it were something he’d like to do with DD. He asked her whether she’d like to play soccer with the other kids and got an excited, receptive “yes.” For several days, we heard a lot about “playing soccer with the other boys and girls in the park.”

But when we arrived at the park, it was clear that our child’s loner tendencies are still quite strong. DD took one skeptical look at the ten or so other children and their various parents and other caregivers and hung back. After a few minutes of holding onto her soccer ball and watching the others enthusiastically run around kicking pint-sized balls, she told my husband, “I’m ready to go home and play with my toys now.” No amount of encouragement would convince her to put the ball down and give it a good kick with the other children. She ended up contentedly swinging and playing on the jungle gym – by herself – for about thirty minutes before we headed home.

So how do we walk the line between her reticence and our desire for her to function in a group? For now, there’s no soccer in DD’s immediate future. Maybe we’ll look for other ways to encourage athleticism and fitness that fit more closely with her personality – tennis or golf, perhaps. We’ll keep her in the art class she loves, which has her in a group setting of about eight children but with individual-focused activities like painting, drawing, and sculpture and with two teachers to oversee the interactions. And we’ll arrange lots of play-dates!

Some books are just good...

Some books are good; some books are really good; and some books are “Oh my god I just sat down and read 305 pages in one sitting” good. That’s John Green’s Paper Towns. Man, is it good. I got turned on to John Green through his and his brother’s Brotherhood 2.0 Project a few years ago when my husband discovered a very engaging video blog entry on the internet and we both began following them. All three of his novels (which are “young adult” but don’t necessarily follow any standard formula for that genre) are great. Really great. Read them. Take a day. Read all three in one sitting. I dare you not to find them engaging.

I have to admit, though, that every time I read a great book by a fresh author, I am unwillingly transported back to the memory of the only book I’ve ever read that was just beyond awful.

Don’t get me wrong. I’ve read a number of books I didn’t particularly care for. The Good Earth? Meh. Moby Dick? I don’t quite get the continued emphasis on this book as a classic; the outdated whale talk drove me bonkers. And I’ve read some books that were bad. The book by Dan Brown I read after The DaVinci Code? Hey – good for you, Dan Brown: you can write A book and then clone it, over and over and over and... And don’t lots of readers have a V.C. Andrews phase in their barely post-pubescent past?? But even when I’ve not particularly cared for the book or I’ve known that the book most definitely did NOT qualify as great literature, I’ve been able to point to something to justify why the book was published or is considered “literature.”

But this one book…

To avoid identifying the author, let’s just say that the book was written by the husband of an acquaintance. (But, yes, my friend in Colorado, you will know IMMEDIATELY the book I’m talking about.) We (the acquaintance and I) were in the same book club for a short period of time. She suggested that we all read her husband’s new book, that he come to our meeting after we read it and let us give him feedback. We, being a good-natured group, agreed.

Boy do I wish we hadn’t. It was a struggle to read that book. As much as I was compelled through the pages of John Green’s Paper Towns, I slogged through the pages of this awful book. I fought the constant urge to stop reading it and, finally, after much effort, managed to finish it. I felt OBLIGED to finish.

I sat down and tried really, really, REALLY hard to come up with one positive thing to say about the book. But I couldn’t. The characters were flat. The setting, which was purportedly known to me and the other readers in the book club, was less recognizable than a place I’d never been. The plot was contrived. There was this allegorical theme, this device, that jumped. Out. And. Beat. You. Over. The. Head. Every. Time. It. Appeared. Even the editing was terrible.

I felt horrible. I mean, I KNEW this guy’s wife. I WANTED to like his book. I’d read some of his professional journalistic-style writing – it was (and still is) quite good. I even looked FORWARD to getting these folks’ annual holiday letter because he made it really, really fun! But I couldn’t go to book club and face this author. I just couldn’t. So I didn’t.

But I still think about that book.

If you have a “worst book” story, I’d love to hear it!

100. Through the Looking Glass by Lewis Carroll
99. The Cat Who Covered the World by Christopher S. Wren
98. The Turn of the Screw by Henry James
97. Emily the Strange by Anonymous
96. Anathem by Neal Stephenson
95. The Higher Power of Lucky by Susan Patron, illustrated by Matt Phelan
94. A Thief in the House of Memory by Tim Wynne-Jones
93. Last Child in the Woods by Richard Louv
92. An Abundance of Katherines by John Green
91. Beauty by Robin McKinley
90. The Last Unicorn by Peter S. Beagle
89. The Unicorn Sonata by Peter S. Beagle
88. Revenge by Stephen Fry
87. Summerland by Michael Chabon
86. Becoming Myself: Reflections on Growing up Female by Willa Shalit
85. The Stars My Destination by Alfred Bester
84. The Crimes of Charlotte Bronte by James Tully
83. Alphabet Juice by Roy Blount Jr.
82. The Book Thief by Markus Zusak
81. A Death in White Bear Lake: The True Chronicle of an All-American Town by Barry Siegel
80. The Girls Who Went Away: The Hidden History of Women Who Surrendered Children for Adoption in the Decades Before Roe v. Wade by Ann Fessler
79. Captain Alatriste by Arturo Perez Reverte
78. Purity of Blood by Arturo Perez Reverte
77. The Sun Over Breda by Arturo Perez Reverte
76. The King’s Gold by Arturo Perez Reverte
75. Mosaic by Amy Grant
74. Blink by Malcolm Gladwell
73. Aquarium Care of Bettas by David E. Boruchowitz
72. Eat Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert
71. The Miserable Mill (Book 4 in a Series of Unfortunate Events) by Lemony Snicket
70. A Drowned Maiden’s Hair by Laura Amy Schlitz
69. Pilgrims by Elizabeth Gilbert
68. Buffy the Vampire Slayer Season 8: Volume 2: No Future for You
67. Buffy the Vampire Slayer Season 8: Volume 3: Wolves at the Gate
66. McSweeney’s Enchanted Chamber of Astonishing Stories edited by Michael Chabon
65. Spike: After the Fall by Joss Whedon
64. Hateship, Friendship, Courtship, Loveship, Marriage by Alice Munro
63. Smoke and Mirrors by Neil Gaiman
62. Moral Disorder and other stories by Margaret Atwood
61. Stern Men by Elizabeth Gilbert
60. The Hour I First Believed by Wally Lamb
59. Hood by Stephen Lawhead
58. Scarlet by Stephen Lawhead
57. The Ruby in the Smoke by Philip Pullman
56. Tithe: A Modern Faerie Tale by Holly Black
55. Hercule Poirot’s Chistmas by Agatha Christie
54. The Austere Academy (Book 5 in a Series of Unfortunate Events) by Lemony Snicket
53. The Ersatz Elevator (Book 6 in a Series of Unfortunate Events) by Lemony Snicket
52. The Vile Village (Book 7 in a Series of Unfortunate Events) by Lemony Snicket
51. Shadow in the North by Philip Pullman
50. The Tiger in the Well by Philip Pullman
49. Peril at End House by Agatha Christie
48. Ironside by Holly Black
47. Mirror Mirror by Gregory Maguire
46. Getting the Girl by Markus Zusak
45. Looking for Alaska by John Green
44. The Last Child by John Hart
43. Brave Story by Miyuki Miyabe
42. The Tipping Point by Malcom Gladwell
41. It’s Not About the Bike by Lance Armstrong
40. The Hostile Hospital (Book 8 in a Series of Unfortunate Events) by Lemony Snicket
39. The Carnivorous Carnival (Book 9 in a Series of Unfortunate Events) by Lemony Snicket
38. The Slippery Slope (Book 10 in a Series of Unfortunate Events) by Lemony Snicket
37. The Painter of Battles by Arturo Perez-Reverte
36. The Tin Princess by Philip Pullman
35. The Grim Grotto (Book 11 in a Series of Unfortunate Events) by Lemony Snicket
34. The Penultimate Peril (Book 12 in a Series of Unfortunate Events) by Lemony Snicket
33. The End (Book 13 in a Series of Unfortunate Events) by Lemony Snicket
32. Sleeping Murder by Agatha Christie
31. Evil Under the Sun by Agatha Christie
30. Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Time of Your Life by Joss Whedon
29. Every Second Counts by Lance Armstrong
28. The Yiddish Policemen’s Union by Michael Chabon
27. Siddhartha by Hermann Hesse
26. Paper Towns by John Green

How are you feeling?

“How are you feeling?”

Since announcing the upcoming arrival of baby #2 (a boy!) in November, this question has largely replaced the standard “How are you?” when folks greet me. It drives me nuts.

Why, you might ask, does such a simple, and presumably well-meaning, question drive me up the wall??

I don’t know. Not really. But I have some rough thoughts about it.

“How are you feeling?” seems to insinuate some degree of familiarity. The question doesn’t bother me so much when it comes from my spouse or my mother or my mother-in-law. They genuinely want to know how I am feeling.

But from others, question seems to go, well, beyond what’s seemly to ask someone who’s not closely related to you or with whom you are not long, long time friends or intimately acquainted. Think about it: how often do YOU ask someone how they feel? If you’re not ill or pregnant or in mourning, when does anyone ever ask you “How are you feeling?” Unless you happen to be sitting on the proverbial couch with your shrink of choice, visiting your physician, or sitting at a loved one’s funeral, people don’t generally probe into your feelings (physical or mental).

“How are you feeling?” also seems to imply some degree of solicitousness, which, I propose, is only affected and not genuine. People want to seem like they care about your pregnancy so that ask how you feel. I fail to believe that some random acquaintance, business colleague, neighbor, or even most of my friends really want to know that I am feeling gassy, bloated, rather stricken with heartburn, exceptionally tired, and a little surprised to be having a boy but otherwise FANTASTIC, thank you very much.

Let’s face it, the standard “how are you?” or “how’s it going?” doesn’t mean anything. People don’t want to know how you are. They want a “fine. How are you?” in response and then for everyone to get on with their day. No one really cares about your bad day or your promotion that has you on top of the world or your irritation with your spouse because he forgot to pick up the clothes you needed from the cleaners in spite of four reminders. Why should things be any different just because there’s a baby in my uterus??

Finally, “how are you feeling?” seems to imply that I shouldn’t be feeling well. And, as noted above, other than feeling gassy, bloated, rather stricken with heartburn, exceptionally tired, and a little surprised to be having a boy, I feel FANTASTIC! With my first pregnancy, a dear friend persistently asked me “how are you feeling?” with a furrowed brow and look of deep concern on her face. After about 10 times, I couldn’t take it anymore and finally had to say, “I feel FINE. I’m not TERMINALLY ILL. I’m PREGNANT.”

I know, I know, some women have terrible pregnancies with lots of awful side effects and they do not feel FINE. But, you know, they probably don’t want you implying that they should feel like crap. And they probably don’t want folks’ faux solicitousness or unjustifiably insinuated familiarity, either.

Or it could all just be that I have raging hormones and anything anyone says to me is likely to be taken completely out of context.

So, next time you see me, do yourself a favor. Feel free to say hello, but unless you REALLY want to know how I’m feeling stick to “how’s it goin’?” and just steer clear of the crazy pregnant lady’s pet peeves.

It's been a long time...

I've been absent. I'm sorry. I've been pregnant. I've got other things to think about. But, I have been reading, and I do have some random thoughts to share. First, the reading update:

100. Through the Looking Glass by Lewis Carroll
99. The Cat Who Covered the World by Christopher S. Wren
98. The Turn of the Screw by Henry James
97. Emily the Strange by Anonymous
96. Anathem by Neal Stephenson
95. The Higher Power of Lucky by Susan Patron, illustrated by Matt Phelan
94. A Thief in the House of Memory by Tim Wynne-Jones
93. Last Child in the Woods by Richard Louv
92. An Abundance of Katherines by John Green
91. Beauty by Robin McKinley
90. The Last Unicorn by Peter S. Beagle
89. The Unicorn Sonata by Peter S. Beagle
88. Revenge by Stephen Fry
87. Summerland by Michael Chabon
86. Becoming Myself: Reflections on Growing up Female by Willa Shalit
85. The Stars My Destination by Alfred Bester
84. The Crimes of Charlotte Bronte by James Tully
83. Alphabet Juice by Roy Blount Jr.
82. The Book Thief by Markus Zusak
81. A Death in White Bear Lake: The True Chronicle of an All-American Town by Barry Siegel
80. The Girls Who Went Away: The Hidden History of Women Who Surrendered Children for Adoption in the Decades Before Roe v. Wade by Ann Fessler
79. Captain Alatriste by Arturo Perez Reverte
78. Purity of Blood by Arturo Perez Reverte
77. The Sun Over Breda by Arturo Perez Reverte
76. The King’s Gold by Arturo Perez Reverte
75. Mosaic by Amy Grant
74. Blink by Malcolm Gladwell
73. Aquarium Care of Bettas by David E. Boruchowitz
72. Eat Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert
71. The Miserable Mill (Book 4 in a Series of Unfortunate Events) by Lemony Snicket
70. A Drowned Maiden’s Hair by Laura Amy Schlitz
69. Pilgrims by Elizabeth Gilbert
68. Buffy the Vampire Slayer Season 8: Volume 2: No Future for You
67. Buffy the Vampire Slayer Season 8: Volume 3: Wolves at the Gate
66. McSweeney’s Enchanted Chamber of Astonishing Stories edited by Michael Chabon
65. Spike: After the Fall by Joss Whedon
64. Hateship, Friendship, Courtship, Loveship, Marriage by Alice Munro
63. Smoke and Mirrors by Neil Gaiman
62. Moral Disorder and other stories by Margaret Atwood
61. Stern Men by Elizabeth Gilbert
60. The Hour I First Believed by Wally Lamb
59. Hood by Stephen Lawhead
58. Scarlet by Stephen Lawhead
57. The Ruby in the Smoke by Philip Pullman
56. Tithe: A Modern Faerie Tale by Holly Black
55. Hercule Poirot’s Chistmas by Agatha Christie
54. The Austere Academy (Book 5 in a Series of Unfortunate Events) by Lemony Snicket
53. The Ersatz Elevator (Book 6 in a Series of Unfortunate Events) by Lemony Snicket
52. The Vile Village (Book 7 in a Series of Unfortunate Events) by Lemony Snicket
51. Shadow in the North by Philip Pullman
50. The Tiger in the Well by Philip Pullman
49. Peril at End House by Agatha Christie
48. Ironside by Holly Black
47. Mirror Mirror by Gregory Maguire
46. Getting the Girl by Markus Zusak
45. Looking for Alaska by John Green
44. The Last Child by John Hart

Now read on (or above) for my random thoughts!

A Tale of Two Memoirs

I don’t often delve into the genre of memoir. I’m not much of a voyeur; I don’t feel the need for Oprah-like inspiration from the amazing progress of others in overcoming their terrible lives; and I usually don’t care enough about what celebrities do when they’re not on camera or historical figures did when they weren’t politicking, saving the world, or whatever to read a whole book about it. That said, I do occasionally go there, and I’ve had two books passed on to me by my mother sitting on my “to-read” shelf for some time, Amy Grant’s Mosaic and Elizabeth Gilbert’s Eat Pray Love. The two books are a lesson in how (or how not) to write a memoir.

Both women have struggled with depression throughout their lives. Both went through not particularly pleasant divorces. Both sought meaning in their lives through spiritual growth. And that’s pretty much where the similarities end between the two memoirs. Let me say that when I do bother to read a memoir, I want to come away feeling like I’ve learned something, like I know the person better or can take away something about their experience that is, if not helpful, at least interesting. In this regard, Mosaic left me dry; Eat Pray Love left me thirsting for more.

Grant tells you she’s dealt with depression. She tells you she’s struggled. She tells you she’s cried. Gilbert shows you what depression looks like. She takes you there (without dragging you down into it). Having dealt with depression myself, both personally and with friends and family, I came away from portions of Eat Pray Love thinking, “yeah, that is exactly what it’s like.” I loved her story of sobbing on the floor and feeling so tired of feeling lost and sad:

Is there anything about this scene you can change, Liz?’ And all I could think
to do was stand up, while still sobbing, and try to balance on one foot in the
middle of my living room. Just to prove that – while I couldn’t stop the
tears or change my dismal interior dialogue – I was not yet totally out of
control: at least I could cry hysterically while balanced on one foot.
Hey, it was a start.

Yeah, she was depressed, but she made me laugh because that is such a real story.

Similarly, Grant tells you that she’s divorced and hints that it wasn’t particularly pleasant but she withholds any information that could allow you to relate to her experience, anything that would allow you to understand how that experience affected her. (Oh, she tells you it affected her, but you don’t see it.) I’m certain she’s trying to protect her children and her ex-husband by not revealing any dirty details, but she doesn’t HAVE to reveal anything to make the experience relatable. Gilbert tells the reader only:

But I don’t think it’s appropriate for me to discuss his issues in my
book. Nor would I ask anyone to believe that I am capable of reporting an
unbiased version of our story, and therefore the chronicle of our marriage’s
failure will remain untold her. I also will not discuss here all the
reasons why I did still want to be his wife, or all his wonderfulness, or why I
loved him and why I had married him and why I was unable to imagine life without
him.

And yet, I walked away from Eat Pray Love with a complete sense of the divorce and its aftermath.

Similarly, the two writers’ treatment of their spiritual journeys is worlds apart. Going into Mosaic, I knew that Amy Grant has been a pop Christian artist since her teenage years and that her faith is integral to her music. Coming out of Mosaic, I knew that Amy Grant has been a pop Christian artist since her teenage years and that her faith is integral to her music. She told me so. While she shared some anecdotes and stories of her youth, I have absolutely no sense of Grant’s spiritual journey, of why she believes as she does, of what makes her faith so important to her. Gilbert takes us along on the journey. Ultimately, her entire book is about that journey. And even if the reader doesn’t believe everything she does, her story is real and it has substance and I understand it.

So, if I see another Amy Grant memoir any time soon, I’ll be passing by the opportunity for her to tell me more about her life. But when Elizabeth Gilbert’s next effort comes out, hopefully later this year, you can bet I’ll be picking up a copy so she can paint me some more lovely word pictures about her life.


A few words about some other recent reads. I love Arturo Perez Reverte. He's one of my favorite writers. I've read all his books. And reading them in English translation makes me want to read them in the original Spanish. I can't recommend them enough.

And yes, I read a book about Bettas. The newest addition to our family is Fishy Gink, which DD desperately wanted for her third birthday. In true Type A, control-freak, anal-retentive fashion, I had to read the book on how to care for the little guy.

And here's the update:

100. Through the Looking Glass by Lewis Carroll
99. The Cat Who Covered the World by Christopher S. Wren
98. The Turn of the Screw by Henry James
97. Emily the Strange by Anonymous
96. Anathem by Neal Stephenson
95. The Higher Power of Lucky by Susan Patron, illustrated by Matt Phelan
94. A Thief in the House of Memory by Tim Wynne-Jones
93. Last Child in the Woods by Richard Louv
92. An Abundance of Katherines by John Green
91. Beauty by Robin McKinley
90. The Last Unicorn by Peter S. Beagle
89. The Unicorn Sonata by Peter S. Beagle
88. Revenge by Stephen Fry
87. Summerland by Michael Chabon
86. Becoming Myself: Reflections on Growing up Female by Willa Shalit
85. The Stars My Destination by Alfred Bester
84. The Crimes of Charlotte Bronte by James Tully
83. Alphabet Juice by Roy Blount Jr.
82. The Book Thief by Markus Zusak
81. A Death in White Bear Lake: The True Chronicle of an All-American Town by Barry Siegel
80. The Girls Who Went Away: The Hidden History of Women Who Surrendered Children for Adoption in the Decades Before Roe v. Wade by Ann Fessler
79. Captain Alatriste by Arturo Perez Reverte
78. Purity of Blood by Arturo Perez Reverte
77. The Sun Over Breda by Arturo Perez Reverte
76. The King’s Gold by Arturo Perez Reverte
75. Mosaic by Amy Grant
74. Blink by Malcolm Gladwell
73. Aquarium Care of Bettas by David E. Boruchowitz
72. Eat Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert