Maybe this seems a matter of semantics (and a little incendiary), but I’m tired of reading about how breastfed babies are “more this” or “less that” than babies fed formula. I completely understand the urge of other breast-feeding advocates to talk about all the great benefits of breastfeeding in this way. But I really do wish they would find a new way to talk about it because what their language indicates is that somehow formula feeding is the norm.
Breastfeeding, NOT formula-feeding, is and should be the baseline. The sad reality is that multi-million-dollar corporations want us to think that formula is God’s gift to babies and mamas everywhere when instead it’s turned into our gift to their coffers. Simply stated, formula is a breastmilk substitute for families where breastfeeding is not an option.
Formula is for all those wonderful mothers out there who CANNOT breastfeed for medical reasons, either their own or their child’s (and I know a number who agonized over this issue – it’s heartbreaking to want to breastfeed and be unable to do so). Formula is for adoptive families. Formula is also for all those fabulous daddies going it alone or in pairs. These parents should give their little sweet babies some formula and sleep with a clear conscience, without the slightest bit of guilt or trepidation.
But women who CAN breastfeed but choose not to do so really need to understand the reality of breastfeeding as a baseline:
* Breastfeeding mamas often have little difficulty losing “baby weight” quickly. Breastfeeding mothers burn, on average, an extra 500 calories a day compared to calories burned during their pregnancies. (Seems like being pregnant would require the greater calorie load but not so!) In addition, breastfeeding encourages the contraction of the uterus back down to its pre-pregnancy size. Both of which, believe me, help you look more like your old self faster.
* Formula-fed babies are dumber. OK, I’ve already made this (rather mean) point in my title, but, hey, if breastfed babies are “smarter” then this is the obvious corollary. Seriously, in recent studies, breastfed babies experienced cognitive benefits.
* Breastmilk confers all kinds of immunological benefits on your baby. Formula does not contain antibodies. Enough said.
* Breastmilk may keep your baby at a healthy weight. Some recent studies have shown that breastfed babies have low risk factors for childhood obesity. In our rapidly-expanding-waistline culture, that is only a good thing.
* Breastmilk makes for a toddler who eats. Don’t get me wrong. Your toddler will be picky and will fixate on some food or another. But all that stuff you eat while breastfeeding? Your baby tastes it too. Just like you hear about cow milk getting “tainted” with wild onions or some such zesty herb, your breastmilk gets flavored by what you eat. (Formula ... well ... it comes in formula flavor.) Studies show that kids who breastfeed like a wide range of food flavors. My DD loves spicy Mexican salsa, lemons and limes, olives, and other non-traditional toddler fare. Maybe your toddler will at least let you add broccoli when she fixates on the traditional toddler favorite of boxed mac and cheese.
* On a truly practical level, breastfeeding does not require lots of stuff. Have boob, will travel. Anywhere. Any time. Perfect temperature and always ready. No being close to some microwave, stovetop, or bottle warmer every two to four hours. No bottles, extra nipples, or bottle liners to carry around. Sure, you can get a breastpump and all the bottles and paraphernalia, but you don’t need it. My DD didn’t take a bottle. Ever. Sounds inconvenient (and I worried initially that it would be so), but it was really far more convenient that lugging all that stuff around. I just lugged her (and the standard supply of diapers and wipes!).
So, rethink the baseline and bring breastmilk back as the norm. It may not make your baby “smarter,” but it sure will make her healthy and it may make you, your baby, and your diaper bag lighter.
8 comments:
This was so refreshing to read! I could go on for days about why I agree that breastfeeding is better. I still nurse my 8 month old several times a day and recently quit my paralegal job to be a nanny and be with her full time. But from the age of 7 weeks to 7 months I pumped every day so that she could continue with breast milk. And my job was horrible and stressful. It frustrates me that so many women give up so quickly. I know it's painful, and it can be overwhelming, but it's part of your responsibility as a mom. I look at it as another 12 months of pregnancy, only the baby is on the outside! Plus, the bonding benefits are HUGE. I watch the baby shows on TLC all the time now, and it makes me so sad to see most of the moms formula feeding their babies because breastfeeding was just "too much." I also talk to a lot of women who think it's just "gross." Personally, I talked to other moms and took a breastfeeding course at Piedmont Hospital with Julie Duncan, the best lactation consultant alive. I came into it knowing it would be a struggle, and I can't think of a better reward. And yes, sometimes I wish I wasn't the equivalent of a 24-hour diner for my daughter, but I'm a mom now. And when she outgrows nursing, I know I will miss it.
Thank you for being so honest and straightforward. It seems that people are hesitant to take a hard and fast stance on this issue because they don't want to offend moms who decide not to nurse simply because they can't be bothered. But maybe they should feel bad. It seems like this issue has been reduced almost to the level of deciding between cloth diapers and disposable ones. Or organic baby food versus plain old Gerber. But it's not. Looking at the CRAZY number of benefits that breastfeeding provides your child, how could any mom say no?
P.S. Sorry for leaving such a long comment!
Long comments are welcome! Thanks for visiting.
I love it and could not agree more. It's startling how many moms think breastfeeding is barbaric or something that is just not done. Your post contains several compelling arguments - I especially enjoyed the mention of exposure of the child to a wider range of flavors. That's cool.
Rock on, Mama!
As an adoptive mom who purposefully chose to adopt (and therefore to give a baby formula) I have to say I'm a little offended by your "formula fed babies are dumber" comment. I was fed formula and I think I came out ok. I also have a lot of friends who felt completely tied down by breastfeeding, and for them choosing to forego breastfeeding and start their babies on formula was a decision to regain some iota of independence. Why should they be judged, or be seen as people who "just can't be bothered"?
Please - can't we all just get along? Do we have to call names (your baby is dumber than mine, you are a bad mother because you decided to give formula) or judge each other for such personal decisions?
Shawn
I think my position on formula as a valid (and invaluable) resource for adoptive parents and for parents who cannot nurse is pretty clear.
As I noted in the blog entry, the title of the blog is incendiary, but it’s meant to be – I want people to take notice and read and comment. That said, as I also noted, I’m really attacking the semantics of the pro-breastfeeding movement, which tends to treat formula-feeding as the norm.
While being incendiary, my goal is to point out the facts that make breastfeeding superior to formula feeding when both are an option. And the facts are the facts (and not my opinion) – breastfed babies enjoy cognitive benefits that are not available to formula-fed babies. Does that mean every formula-fed baby is dumb? No. Obviously there are numerous other factors that go into making a “smart” child. (But again, I’m turning the semantics of many of my fellow pro-breastfeeding advocates around.)
All of THAT said, I stand by my comments about women who can breastfeed but choose not to do so. Such a decision doesn’t make a woman a bad mother (and I never imply that it does), but it does constitute, in my opinion, a bad decision. Being a parent is very much about doing what’s best for your child.
Certainly a woman has to balance that role with her own personal needs, but breastfeeding is not the burden that many make it out to be. I had an “iota of independence,” and my DD breastfed (and nothing but breastfed – she refused all bottles, pacifiers, and other artificial nursing devices) for fifteen months. Beyond the first couple of months, babies don’t breastfeed ceaselessly, and even an exclusively breastfeeding mother like myself has plenty of opportunity for non-baby-inclusive adults-only activities for long periods of time.
In fact, if a woman can pump and has a lovely little one who will drink from a bottle (unlike my own DD), she can get all the “independence” she wants with one or two pumping sessions daily and a good supply of milk storage bags and bottles. I certainly know many women who gave their babies all the advantages of breastmilk without any extreme or onerous time commitments on their parts.
I live in the real world. We women have other family obligations and work obligations that place demands on our time. I don’t pass any judgment on women who have to return to work and find themselves unable to continue breastfeeding after maternity leave. I don’t have a problem with women who nurse for a while and then transition to formula for whatever reason (including that they just don’t want to do it anymore).
But I’ll make explicit what was implicit in my blog: I think poorly of women who can breastfeed but choose not to do so at all.
If a woman thinks breastfeeding will tie her down, well, I got news for her: she better get prepared for being a whole lot more tied down because kids don’t free up your time. The decisions never get any easier and she’ll never get any more hours in her day than she already has. If a woman isn’t willing to sacrifice at least some of her time to do something for her child that only she can do and for what is incontrovertibly in her child’s best interests, then she probably shouldn’t have a child.
My point is that I am so thankful we live in a day and age where we can make our own choices about our own bodies. This is the right our mothers and grandmothers fought for, and I just hate to hear anyone, for any reason, criticize a woman for making a choice about her body. It is a scary slippery slope. It would be different if it were a debate about breastmilk vs. Jack Daniels. But that's not what we're talking about here. There is no doubt that in an ideal world breastmilk is better for all of the reasons you cited. But if a woman choses, for whatever reason, to use formula, it is her choice and she should not be condemned.
Two points, then I'm going to let this one go:
1. Breastmilk isn't just better in an ideal world. It's better in this one.
2. Just because women have the right to make choices about their bodies -- and I agree that they do -- doesn't mean that all decisions are equally good or carry the same moral weight. I respect each woman's right to choose but that does not mean that I have to value every choice equally.
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